Humans are creatures of habit. Even thought patterns, whether good or bad can be habit forming. The good thing is, just like all habits, we can break negative thought patterns and what if thinking. When you constantly think about things that could happen, it makes you sad, depressed, and anxious. So in other words nothing comes good from it. We have to live in the present.
There was a time that I crowded my mind with what if thoughts and these thoughts were never positive, they were negative thoughts that made me become fearful of being in crowded places, being on an airplane, leaving my kids, driving in the car with my kids because my mind was always on “something bad could happen” and because of this I became more anxious more sad more depressed. But there is something you can do about that pattern of thinking. You can change it. You can swap it out with positive thoughts and at first it may seem unnatural, which is weird because positive thinking should be totally natural but when you develop a thought process of negativ thinking, that becomes your habit and it feels natural. You have to make yourself uncomfortable, get outside of your comfort zone and take a chance on something better, something more positive. You even have to change certain people you are around and put yourself around people who are positive motivating and loving.
We have to begin to recognize what makes us feel bad. Put a stop to whatever that is. It may be a situation that isn’t easy to just stop. What can you do to improve it? Sometimes we have to seek help from outside, and guess what? that’s perfectly fine, W e have to let go of the stigma that comes along with speaking to a therapist and do something that can help you get your life on track.
What if thinking as I said earlier creates anxiety. When your mind goes there you have to ask yourself, “am I being realistic or rational? Is what I’m saying to myself even true?” We do more harm to ourselves, literally by adding on this unnecessary stress to the body. Understand that positive feelings cant co-exist with negative thoughts. You are the number one person who can control your mindset, therfore you can either be your own best ally or your own worst adversary.
Go into training with your thought process and take the necessary steps to becoming a positive thinker who can exchange what if thinking to beautiful positive thoughts. Start by reading, writing and watching positive things, being around positive people and see how your mood will slowly begin to change. I will reiterate speaking to a professional if need be and understanding that you are not weak because you had to or decided to speak to one. To me, its not only brave, its a rational, mature and a responsible decision. So go find your happiness, your peace, your joy.
Beyond Young 